The Ballad of Skinny White Cop

Brave knight, so closely do you guard

Thy treasure trove of bread

How shiny is your golden badge,

How baseball-capped your head

How sultry is your furrowed brow

Your eyes of Aryan blue

If one day I take someone out

I hope it will be you

I’d like to stand behind you

As I contemplate your rear

I’d like to take you on a long walk

Down a foot-long pier

I’d like to take you dancing

And stay out with you all night

How could I help romancing

One so skinny and so white?

So if you’d like to change the game

Stop playing cat and mouse

And turn the other cheek

When I come looking for discounts

Perhaps I’ll offer you my hand

Fulfill your every whim

And tell the mob boss truthfully,

“Yeah, I took care of him.”

Published 11-17-23