D.D. Bauchery: I think we should do it about anarchists because I have a lot of funny things to say about anarchists. Laughs.

Ebenezer Spooge: Laughs.

Anonymous Artichoke: Laughs.

D.D. Bauchery: Remember what I said earlier about the military having a monopoly on killing its soldiers. They like no u cant do that only we can do that. I feel like maybe anarchists have a monopoly on policing. Is that a good thing to say? Is that terrible? Because we literally police each other constantly.

Ebenezer Spooge: Somebody’s gonna police you for that.

D.D. Bauchery: Oh it's 11:11 (AM or PM not specified for privacy) make a wish.

Ebenezer Spooge: I wish for it to be known that it’s 11:11 PM.

D.D. Bauchery: What do you wish for?

Anonymous Artichoke: I just wanna find Kevin. We got so close.

D.D. Bauchery: I just want weed to be legal… and cocaine.

Ebenezer Spooge: I think they should put cocaine in those tampon dispensing machines. I forget we have a president.

D.D. Bauchery: I wish they did that and didn’t tell anyone. What was the rat guy again?

Ebenezer Spooge: You know the New York rat problem only got bad when they switched from metal garbage bins to bags.

D.D. Bauchery: I wish that we could elect a rat for president. #VerminSupreme. Brush your teeth. Free Pony. Sounds better than any of our other options, he’s actually solving problems instead of committing genocide.

Ebenezer Spooge: Are you trying to police me by telling me to brush my teeth?

Ebenezer Spooge: The way you typed Free Pony makes it seem like Pony is a political prisoner. I wonder why the pony population didn’t boom along with the rats. I feel like they could chew through garbage bags.

D.D. Bauchery: I thought you meant the ponies would eat the rats. If rats could hunt in packs we’d be fucked. They’d start eating us so fast.

Anonymous Artichoke: No flow. I can’t even spell my name. We should go ask the rats about their plans/pronouns. They’ve gone woke.

D.D. Bauchery: Rat pronoun circle. There’s chemicals in the water turning the fucking rats gay.

Ebenezer Spooge: That’s what I get for sending my boys to a liberal arts college.

Anonymous Artichoke: Tranny is a really good slur.

D.D. Bauchery: Trannie is a really hardy slur. It’s like the stew of slurs. I feel like I could bite into it and it would nourish me. 

Ebenezer Spooge: That’s a whole-wheat slur.

D.D. Bauchery: Sometimes I think: how many slurs can I reclaim? You need at least three in your bio. But I think that’s the ultimate stage of liberal brain rot.

Anonymous Artichoke: Trannie?

Ebenezer Spooge: Transfems can say tranny with a y, but transmascs have to say trannie with an ie.

Anonymous Artichoke: Can transfems say trannie?

Ebenezer Spooge: Shut up trannie.

Anonymous Artichoke: What about tranney with an -ey?

Ebenezer Spooge: That’s for nonbinaries.

D.D. Bauchery: I think nonbinary people can say all three. That’s what being nonbinary is all about.

Ebenezer Spooge: I don’t think you can say any of them unless you’ve had ALL the surgeries.

Ebenezer Spooge: My eyes are up here.

D.D. Bauchery: Kalvin Garrah (2006 version).

Anonymous Artichoke: Have you had your appendix removed?

Ebenezer Spooge: Never grew one. Never intend to.

D.D. Bauchery: I’ve never had my appendix removed, but I have had pieces of my foot removed, and I’m supposed to have my wisdom teeth removed.

Anonymous Artichoke: We should go to the sex shop in South Center and look for Kevin Jonas.

D.D. Bauchery: Do you think Kevin Jonas would tell us if he was here, or would he run away if I called his name?

Anonymous Artichoke: You have to do a special bird call. He’s a descendant of birds.

D.D. Bauchery: [discussing puppygirls] It’s like a long-term roleplay, it seems, from the outside. And then it also extends to the bedroom. Sometimes I talk to my dog girl girlfriends.

Anonymous Artichoke: Androids fuck the group chat. Hey hey, ho ho, androids have got to go.

D.D. Bauchery: Is that a call to action? I thought you were endorsing androids, like androids fuck, massively. I know dog girls, robot girls, slime girls, deer girls…. Oh and cat girls! And you too can know these kinds of women if you log into tumblr.com

D.D. Bauchery: Here I’ll add a little bit of context for the viewer.

Ebenezer Spooge: What viewer?