Ebenezer Spooge: Is this just us listing all of our ideas of where he might be? He owes me money.

Anonymous Artichoke: I think more than that, we should document our search for him.

Ebenezer Spooge: Where do we start?

Anonymous Artichoke: The list.

Ebenezer Spooge: Shall we list the list?

Anonymous Artichoke: Maybe just the highlights.

Ebenezer Spooge: I think in a tub of butter is funny. I also like Southcenter Castle-MegastoreTM.

Anonymous Artichoke: Let's go there.

Ebenezer Spooge: We could check the megastore's tubs of butter. I just like the idea of him all slippery.

Anonymous Artichoke: We'll have to do more in-depth reporting on our valiant effort.

[Debating transit directions]

Ebenezer Spooge: We could check if he's in our apartment. [Searches around]. He is not. But I'll look for children tomorrow to see if he is in the laughter of a child.

Anonymous Artichoke: How about the bottom of the protein powder jar?

Ebenezer Spooge (sniffs): Oh god that shit smells horrible, yeah he wouldn't be hiding in there.

Anonymous Artichoke: Let's go to the lesbian bar and see if Kevin is there with Joe. That's all I can think of. 

Ebenezer Spooge: That man has a fucking the L word haircut.

Anonymous Artichoke: That's what I was thinking.

Ebenezer Spooge: I haven't actually seen the L word but I have seen Camp Rock, so my whole idea of the L word revolves around Joe Jonas.

More to come...